Big Lesbian Party

I just found out that a lesbian couple wants me to father their child. Of course I jumped at the opportunity to bring another little me into the world. And to help out a friend in need was in there somewhere. During the nanosecond it took me to reach this conclusion, I began to think back on this very lovely couple. Let's call them Captain and Tennille.

Now let's see...it must be going on 2 years since I have seen The Captain or Tennille. I do speak with Tennille on a pretty regular basis....but when was the last time I saw them.....hmmmm...oh, that's right! It was at their BIG LESBIAN PARTY!

You see, we travel from the Great State of Texas to SoCal almost every summer to spend some quality time with all of El Salvador (I will be posting on that REAL soon). The Captain and Tennille had planned a 70's party and by luck, we were going to be in town. Little did I suspect what this party was really all about.

I believe that the 70's are one of the greatest dance and fashion decades ever. Le Freak, I Will Survive, Dancing Queen, Flashlight, and the hits just keep on rolling! Add to the great music the best wardrobe by both the men and ladies. The best way to describe the fashion is to simply stay the goods were on display for all to admire. A 70's party is just like Halloween - this is when all women can flaunt their junk without fear of being called a hooker. As a side note, Halloween is one of my favorite holidays.

Now then, Nelly and I celebrated with our own 70's party the previous year. Were the Capetian and Tennille biting on our idea? Probably, but I still wanted to go and literally shake my groove thang. We brought our digs for the funk fest. I had tight white pants, a psychedelic disco shirt (complete with butterfly collar) buttoned up about halfway, an assortment of gold chains and rings. Nelly rocked a dress short enough to confirm she was girl, had the DD's front and center (almost completely out), knee-high white go-go boots and a Farrah Fawcett, blond wig to top off the look.

As we walk into this party, I see nothing but drunk women. This is already awesome. But then, for some reason, no one is noticing me. This was the first time I had been surrounded by women and not a single one was looking me up and down. Something was amiss! It hits me! This is even more awesome than I first thought - these women are drunk lesbians in revealing costumes. This is easily one of the best parties I have ever been to and I've only just walked in! Can it get any better!?!? Yes, it can...

The ladies were scattered about the party in different groups. The Captain was leading some of the ladies in a nice karaoke set while others were drinking and carrying on. Tennille is excited to see us (naturally) and decides to share us with her guests. Nelly is walking around in her white, platform knee-high boots and DD's out for the world. She starts to get some attention. A lot of attention. The ladies are looking at Nelly like they haven eaten for 3 days and she is a fine ham sandwich. This is even more awesome than I when I first walked in!

The night is going on at a steady pace. I am being completely ignored. Women are offering Nelly drinks while looking down her shirt. Others are having conversations with the DD's as if Nelly is not even there. Now, not all of these ladies were lesbians. Even the straight girls are getting in on the action. Some ask if she would like free yoga instruction; I think this is great because of all the health benefits. The party is coming to an end and the ladies are starting to file out, but not before they get a chance to feel Nelly up. As they "hug" her goodbye, it was obvious that their intention was to get the boobage all up on each other. I still think that this is pure awesomeness and encourage Nelly to hug all of her friends goodbye this way.

Any real man will confirm that the "lesbian encounter" is somewhere in the top 5 of all man-fantasies. Really could be top 3 if combine a few. In either case, the Captain and Tennille did what they could to bring this to fruition.

I have always wondered how I could pay back The Captain and Tennille for that night - now I have my chance. I will give them a baby. The only caveat is that they name the baby Raymond for a boy or Railene for a girl.