So I’m sure that you can all understand my befuddlement when I received a mailer from my church. IN SPANISH. WHAT THE CRAP!?! I’ve been at that church for 4 years! Everyone that knows me knows that I don’t speak a word of Spanish. I’m from SoCal! Why the crap would I speak Spanish?!?! I gather that they must have seen my last name and ASSUMED that with a Hispanic surname that I spoke a language other than English. This strikes me as odd on a few levels.
1. I doubt that Justin Beiber gets junk mail in German
2. I don’t think that Christina Ricci ever got a mailer in Italian
3. Ikea doesn’t send me flyers in Swedish
4. Why is it called “Latin America”? They don’t speak latin; they speak Spanish.
5. Shouldn’t it be Spanish America?
6. And the people could be called Spanish
7. And people from Spain could be Spaniards
I guess that list really is only 2 points, but still valid.
I was talking to Mr. Tiny and Big H about profiling a few weeks back. If you remember, they are extremely large black men. We were talking about how the quiet black man is much scarier than the loud angry black man.
With the loud angry black man, you get what you see. No real surprises. They yell and scare the hell out of all non-minorities in the general area. It’s good for a story to tell over drinks or while doing your nails…”and there was this large afro-american man…very very upset…he kept saying he ‘wished’ someone would say something…”
The quiet, calm black man is much more frightening. Let me frame this for you. Mr. Tiny is 6’2 and 260 lbs of bad ass black man. I think he bench presses Ford Explorers and curls VW Bugs for a workout. Let us imagine this large man is upset, yet quiet. This is much more frightening. You imagine that he is plotting your demise…AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP IT. I would much rather deal with a loud person putting on a show than a large, powerful man that I think is calculating how much force it would take to rip my arms off.
I have another friend – Big Ass Guy (BAG). BAG is actually bigger than Mr. Tiny and Big H. He is like a fusion of the two. Except he’s a white guy. See…you are totally not worried about him! See how the brain does that? BAG’s fingers are the size of bananas, but if he pisses me off, I’m gonna take him down. Large white guys aren’t scary. It’s the lil quiet bastards that are just a lil off that we need to keep an eye on.
What is this post all about??? I was racially profiled so I wanted to make myself feel better. It’s like being a bully. I want to put other people down to make me feel good. Did I succeed? No. Did I give you all something to talk about? Mission Accomplished!