Why I Left Facebook

I am a stat-whore. There...I said it. Every time I post awesomeness for all of cyberspace to digest, I run to www.statcounter.com and begin the painstaking process of watching how many of my devoted readers actually read my greatness. I've noticed that my numbers go up when the Greatest-Facebook-Fan-Page-Ever-Made is updated showing my blog link.

But the  numbers really don't shoot up like they should. Then I wonder what kind of people are NOT reading my literary hotness (not to be confused with my literal hotness). I blame my true-fans for not getting word out. I can only be so awesome alone. Let's face it - even Muhammad Ali had a team.

I left social networking as part of an experiment. This post will be done without the aid of Facebook - being the stat-whore that I am, I will be watching the numbers.

I am hoping my real fans will spread the word that the Shogun is back on the scene! And the Shogun is the master!

So, I learned a few things while I've been unplugged. The WHOLE world just kept going on. I was starved for  pop culture news.  I had to get all my information from CNN, FOX News, Good Morning America, NPR, and other network controlled media. Even worse than that, it took a whole 2 days for any one to notice that I was gone. The first person to reach out to me was Corki Shitz; she was trying to post something mean on my wall. The only other two people to notice were Xena Boobage and Nikki Night. Xena and Nikki are roommates and 2 of the best people that I know. Xena Boobage actually played a big role in my recovery. She's my personal nursemaid. They were both very distraught without having instant access to me - I'm sure everyone feels this way, but they were able to express it. It makes me sad that the world is being denied my awesomeness and attractiveness.

Disconnecting from cyberspace had a few unforeseen side effects. I lost touch with the world as things went along without me. Here are some events that occurred during my absence:

1. The Rock has returned to the WWE. How the crap did the most ELECTRIFYING man in entertainment come back to the ring and I was unaware?!?!
2. Apple released the iPad2. Really? Didn't the original debut less than a year ago?
3. Apparently a war broke out because gas is $19.99 a gallon

As all this real news was happening (and I was missing), I was stuck watching GMA and gaining non-vital information such as:

1. Japan was rocked with the largest earthquake ever registered
2. Japan is then hit by a tsunami that further caused structural damage to their nuclear reactors and a meltdown is threatening the region
3. Gadhafi is refusing to step down and casualties are growing daily. The world is waiting to see how the U.S. reacts.

Without Facebook, I have no idea what Wonder Woman's new costume looks like. I don't know anything about Will and Kate's wedding. I haven't read about anyone's baby-mama-drama. I haven't seen any thought-provoking personal opinions. No updates on workouts and/or diets. No prayer requests. No pictures of kids birthday parties or team events. Nothing on Brittney, Taylor, or Avril.

Some good has come of this. I have spoken/texted with friends more than ever. I speak with Xena Boobage, Nikki Night, Zergio, and Bobbert Fernandez on a daily basis. In a day when Social Networking is king, it's nice to know that I can reach out and talk to my buddies. 

Cyberspace, you have been missed. And I know you missed me. I'm back. You're welcome.