Lucky Lady or How Nelly Caught Me

I was thinking the other day, "How did Nelly get so lucky, and not only catch me, but keep me?" Was it just pure hotness? Did she have some kind of voodoo spell over me? Was it the hotness and the spell working together? As I pondered this, I began thinking back on childhood crushes. Now, these aren't crushes on real people, but crushes I had when I was a little tyke (much like my champ is today). I could only think of 3:

• Elvira
• Wonder Woman
• Mary Ann

Some of you that know me may be thinking that I omitted Thelma from Goodtimes - she wasn't a childhood crush; that crush started in the 90's and ended the day I met Nelly.

Going back to my childhood, we see some simple, but drastic similarities among the 3 ladies fore-mentioned. If we were to stand them all next to each other, in a line, very very close to each other, we see that they have 2 really BIG features in common. The more we stare at them, the more apparent they become. That's right! They are all brunette with brown eyes!

Nelly also has brown hair and the most beautiful brown eyes I have ever seen. As a side note, baby-girl's eyes are a very close second. Was it all really that simple? Of course I like brown hair and brown eyes, but was my animalistic attraction only based on those features? When I looked closer, I saw the resemblance to my childhood crushes was much deeper.

Mary Ann - She is sweet, old-fashioned, friendly, the-girl-next-door; and despite all these differences, she still reminds me of Nelly. It may be because she's short. I'm just playing :)  My Nelly is all of those things and so much more. Nelly is very compassionate and is a friend to everyone. Remember how Mary Ann was always there for Gilligan? That's how Nelly's friendships are - she is there for everyone. And she's short.

Wonder Woman - She is an Amazon Warrior! If you were to challenge her to a duel, she would win and possibly talk about your mama as she did so. This is the Nelly that I love! The fiery beast that will cut someone given the chance. This isn't a contrast to Mary Ann - this is a defense mechanism. Wonder Woman protected the innocent, Nelly protects her herd. They also have a great sense of style - Nelly has an assortment of clothes that cause mere mortals to stop and stare. Some of you may be saying, "HEY! Wonder Woman doesn't have brown eyes!" To that I say, "She can stop bullets...and did you see her costume?"

Elvira - She may be the one that reminds me of Nelly the most. When I was younger, I didn't know why Elvira captured my attention so much - I know now. It's her big, bubbly, bodacious personality and her awesome sense of humor. Nelly is ridiculously funny and has great comedic timing (almost as good as me). One of my buddies put it best, "You and Nelly are perfectly crazy for each other." He didn't mean that we were crazy in love for one another; he meant that our varying degrees of craziness where in perfect sync for us to be the ultimate compliment to each other - think of yin and yang or peanut-butter and jelly. Perfect balance. Elvira is easily one of the funniest people on the planet. Very quick-witted and she owns an awesome couch. I can hear some more complaints, "HEY! Elvira doesn't have brown eyes!"  To you haters, I say, "Elvira has eyes???"

Nelly is the combination of all my childhood crushes rolled into one sexy person. She is short, wears small, tight clothes, and has Double-D's (Mary Ann, Wonder Woman, and Elvira respectively). And she is a brunette with beautiful honey-golden eyes. I didn't stand a chance. It's like she's all sparkly like Edward and I'm Bella - everything about her draws me in. But I'm really Jacob, not really, but yes I am. It's no wonder that she caught me and made herself the luckiest woman in this world.

To my beautiful wife, I salute you! I salute your perfect you-ness that I can't get enough of!