Shameless Plug

Good people, I have to apologize right up front on this one. Unlike my other selfless work, this post is going to be all about me. I know! This was a shock to me too! Before you decide to run to YouTube and watch "Super Mario Beatbox", please let me explain my dilemma.


Any of you that are my Facebook friends know that I am campaigning to be famous. Shamelessly campaigning. Now then, I have recently became aware that my reader base is larger than the 17 people currently listed as "followers." Further, my greatest fans are trying to spread the word of my greatness! My initial thought was, "How hard can that be?!! They've read the stories! Big Lesbian Party, Sexy is as Sexy does, High School Senior Picture...these are works of ART!" This must be harder than I thought...but now I have the people on my side! Here's the catch: though avid readers, my greatest fans are not IT/PC/Internet savvy. I have been asked to help them spread the word. So now I find myself in a peculiar situation. I have been asked to write step-by-step instructions on how to become a follower of the blog and how to share it with others. This really isn't the issue...the issue is...how do I entertain you all and still help my fans share my  awesomeness?

Here is my attempt:

I've been asked "how did you decide to write?" and "how do you come up with your titles?" The truth about what made me write has to do with Tenille from "Big Lesbian Party." We were chatting on FB (man, I spend a lot of time on there), not really sure what the topic was, but I'm sure I was being awesome. After an extremely witty exchange, she says (well types), "It must be fun to have your brain." This got me to thinking. I had assumed that the world and I were always in synch. Not the case. People are entertained by my thoughts. I also thought, "I would read something that I wrote." Right then I decided to share my greatness with the world. I did the research to start my own blog. Actually, I reached out to a friend that we shall call LRox and she pretty much gave me everything I needed. I was off and running! The masses were hearing my message!Oh, and the titles come to me before I even start to blog.

In the early days, I just wanted to get my ideas out of my head and out to the world. Little did I know that I would become a phenomenon. Actually, I thought I'd have 500 followers by now. As you can see, the layout of the blog has changed since day 1. I was finally able to show the full title. I also changed the "followers" to read "Residents of 1st of 1st", I know...sweet, right? Lastly, I added an advertisement. This is my favorite part of the changes. This ever-changing advertisement is what we call "content aware." From what I understand, an extremely complex and sophisticated algorithm developed by NASA (or possibly Disney) goes through everything that I have ever posted. It looks for what they call "key words." That means, they look for stuff that they can sell based on what I write. These key words run through a second powerful, even more complex algorithm, developed by aliens, and spits out what should be sold on my site. Now then, if you take a look over there today you should see the following mix:

• Dance school advertisement
• Male Nylon Underwear advertisement
• Mail-order Bride advertisement
• Meet hot chicks (usually latina or asian) advertisement

Dance lessons for me?!  Like NKOTB, I can show you STEP BY STEP! The Male Nylon panties is pretty funny. I figure this has to do with the banana-sling comment in Daughter's Eyes. Looking back that should have read "banana-hammock"; I believe over seas it is a "Plantain Sling". I must of mix-n-matched. Here in Texas, I call it a "Longhorn Saddle"....as in slip into the saddle...or saddle up. Not really sure what a I wrote about to get the "Meet Hot Ladies Now!" ads. Maybe it was the Lesbian Party. There was also mention of cougars sprinkled throughout my writings. Though I am no longer young enough to be cougar-bate, I still support them in their natural habitat (the work-place and TGIF bars on Saturday night). No matter, seeing these ads are entertainment enough for me.

For some ground rules of blog:

1. I always publish on Wednesday at 10 CST. Am I always on schedule? Let's just say that I heard rumors that the Atomic Clock uses my publishing time to set itself. 
2. I NEVER comment on my own post. I have opened up the comments to "anonymous" so feel free to say what you like without fear of censorship.
3. I always publish the link of the latest post on FB. Feel free to send in the friend requests ;)
4. I tend to write at odd times and write multiple stories before they are published. For some reason, my posts are not listed in order of publishing. They are listed in order of when I started to write them.
5. Like this post, that is off schedule, I will still have a Wednesday story.
6. I will continue to write until I run out of stories or my sexiness dries up and dies - which ever comes first.

 Ok, now for my true fans - the future Residents of 1st and 1st; the Sexibots. Here is info that you have waited for...HOW TO SHARE MY GREATNESS!

To share by email:
At the bottom of the post, you will see a picture of little envelope. You can click on this and it will open a new page. Here you enter your email address and your friend's email address. Click send and that's it! You have shared the joy.

By URL:
You can simply tell friends where it is located: www.famousrays.blogspot.com or you can type that into your address bar or search engine. You can also "copy and paste" this line into tweets, chat windows, or social networking sites (Facebook/Myspace). To do this, you go up top and highlight the complete web address - it starts with http:  When it is highlighted, right click and select "copy". Go to where you want to enter the info, right click again and select paste.

On Facebook/Twitter
Once you are reading the blog, you can select "Share" at the top of the page - located above "Famous" in the title.

To become a follower - if you want to add to my legend, PLEASE DO THIS!
Simply click the "FOLLOW" button listed to the right of this blog. It is in the section listed "Residents of 1st and 1st".  You must have a Google, Twitter, or Yahoo account. I'm sure that most of you do as you are all on the web reading this.

Comments - Just start typing and hit submit.

That about does it. I'd like to close with this:

Jesus saves.......passes to Moses.....shoots.....GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!

What can I say, it's World Cup time. If that offended you, read it again and say the names in spanish ;)